Like heroin

The Smiths – How Soon Is Now?
Starting a new blog is a bit like the rubbing together of two moist sticks, hoping for fire. So vanquish hopes of a spectacular fire, and you hopefuls, squint your eyes in anticipation of a puff of smoke. The rest can try to make out the spark.

I've endeavored a few times now to commence the spitting of words. Having no great luck, I'm now reporting a problem. Shocked beyond words ( pun intended ), thinking it would never happen to me, I suspect myself to be lacking in the field of emoition. No, I accuse myself! My eyes once wide, blue and open; now squinted, and shiftily looking for a mean to an end. Dreams have passed and the vacuum left behind has now been invaided and overtaken by a thinking oriented with goals. Sky once boiling with clouds is now staring back at me with a stark blue unblinking eye. Making writing a bit uninspired. I being me, however, a weather in the distant sky might just happen to be a storm.

My heart has caught the rot. A shade of black, a veil of sensibility, covers my naked heart. Old age brings a thickness. A sensibility. The unmistakable odor of death and dying that starts creeping into your nostrils as you get closer to thirty. A tint of pragmatism seeping out over the vistas, and the reflexive stroke of the chin is initiated, as you gaze vacantly.

Getting drunk reminded me of something I had not forgotten. The pointlessness of the worldly. Downtown we are moving to the sound of thunder just waiting for the light to hit us. And while moving to the beat, watching blurred images of people moving and waiting, nothing happened. Clubs are containers of mistaken anticipation. The product on sale is a misplaced hope, in that something will actually happen. But it never does.

My salvation is my bicycle. - Why? - How? - Well, someone once put it rather nicely: Remember those dreams when you dream you are flying? Thats cycling to me. - And he's right. It's exactly that feeling you get from cycling. Nothing brings life and living closer to you, not getting drunk, not going to a party, not having sex; nothing comes close to a good ride. Something you have to try out for yourself to 'get'. Just like heroin. You just have to shoot-up a lot more to get hooked. But then you will never be the same.

Due to errors of the technical kind, this text appears one and a half month late. Not for the sake of good taste but rather for the sake of completeness I leave this for others to see.